You use passive voice instead of active voice. Here’s how you can tell the difference: If you can add “by writers” to the end of your sentence and it still makes sense, then it’s in passive voice. In other words, passive voice should never be used by writers.
Why not say “Couple struck by tire iron at least 17 times?” If the published headline is correct, then the real news story is how an inanimate object was able to do anything at all.
Your punctuation is confusing. As it stands, this headline makes no sense. “Man shot; another stabbed; woman loses teeth” is better.
You have unnecessary words. Every word should move the plot forward or add insight into character or setting. "Data" does not add any information and should be omitted.
Your writing isn't as straightforward as it could be. Why not just say “Houston man drowns at San Luis Pass?"
You try to be clever or cute when it doesn’t fit. This writer made a pun for “free for all,” but it doesn’t work well since the connection with the topic of fleas isn’t clear.
--Ann Kellett, Ph.D.
Ann Kellett Editing